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  • regrets

    i wish i can say i don't have any regrets, but regrets are like assholes, everbody has one. regrets are the pitfals of life, the aches and pain people try to avoid, and no matter how much we try to avoid them, you always come back to earth to face the truth, that we are human, and to be  human is to be vulnerable. so, even though i thought highly of mysef as a macho man, i was enslaved to make maistakes, and i will suffer the consequences of my choices, rather it may be a love story of my life i missed out on, a once promised career that would of, or a wish to bring back, or what i said to someone i cared about, will always haunt me in life. the smiple fact is, time travel has not been invented will cement the fact that i will regret something in life. a man once gave me advice about life, he said, "roll the dice, put your best foot forward, and let them lie where they lie," and i have been living life with that principle. my idea of no regrets is to live life with the mentality…

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  • Love and Regret BTOTM 9/2014

    No one taught me about the facts of life. At least not the right way. How one girl plus one boy plus sex one time equals baby? No. No one taught me those facts. Then again I was only 15 years old. Who would I even listen to?

    Rachel was 18 and it was her birthday gift to me. Turning me into a man. At least that’s what she called it. Six months later she tells me I need to get a job cos she don’t to wanna be on welfare. I’m f*&@ing fifteen you horny b*&@*. Fine. I’ll own up to mine, not like I’m a dumb shit. I’m just young see.

    Told my old man about what happened and he didn’t care. See what I mean about no one I’d even listen too about the facts of life? It was just me and him. The woman that carried me for nine months didn’t feel compelled to stick around after she gave birth to me. I don’t blame her. My old man was crazy. At least he didn’t drink or beat me huh? I woulda took a beating or something. That at least showed he cared enough to strike me. Instead…

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  • Mariah Carey OZ/NZ Tour 2014

    Yes ok shes not a poly performer or has anything to do with reggae LOL, but it's MARIAH CAREY! *faints*

    She was in OZ early last year for a mini tour, but now will be having a worldwide tour for her new album and to also perform her old skool songs which we all grew up with & jammed while singing thru your hairbrush in the mirror in your rooms kinda jams?! (no only me? ok LOL). Songs like: Fantasy, Dream lover, Heartbreaker, Emotions, Always Be My Baby, Vision Of Love, Hero, Without You & mannnny more classics, i hope she sings on her tour! If she sings either We Belong Together or Love Takes Time - im either gonna faint or cry becoz they are my jams! LOL #sodramatic

    Tickets are like pricey but you know what - its Mariah Carey! LOL shes a female artist i have to tick off my bucket list of performers i need to see in concert and to say i have seen her live is an old skool memory/dream come true! :) …

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  • EXTREME mama's boy [BOTM]

    I dated a guy once that I thought was pretty chill. He just moved to Cali after graduating from Leone High School and when we first met, he seemed like a guy that I liked. We dated for 2 weeks and it felt like an ETERNITY; the creepiest relationship of my life!! Here’s why…

     

    Before everyone got hooked up on Fb, there was Myspace. You knew just how important you were in someone’s life if you made it to their top 8!!! Smh lol Within the first day of us making it official, he had not only made me number 1 on his top list, he made my picture his background, changed his Default picture to one of us, annnnnddd changed his Myspace name to _______&LadeehJay….. I’ll admit, it was a bit creepy but I tried not to pay…

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  • Puppy Love?

    I was 13 years old.....Puberty had me in its grip, so I was experiencing high levels of moepi-ness and  not to mention the anxiety of having just left nz, not being able to say goodbye to all of my crushes and feeling lonely in a hot, dry Australia...Welcome to Sydney....NOT!

    BROWn faces were scarce, I was in an all girl school....things were looking pretty pathetic....so unless I changed preference to either lebs or asians, I was gonna be either a lesbian or a nun.

    Have you ever experienced being uprooted from all your friends in the prime of your life? ......I basically had nothing to live for....*rolls yr eyes for you....

    Normal day like any other, we had just moved to another crummy house in another crummy neighbourhood. I checked the mail...

    White envelope with my name on it.....what the heck,.......

    from Mr X...............***crickets***auckland NZ

    Dear Belly,(I still have all of his letters)

    I'm sorry, I didnt get a chance to…

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  • The One That Got Away [[Sept 2014 BOTM]]

               

    "Excuse me miss?"

    In a room full of keys tap tap tapp'n away, a dreamy baritone voice is heard, barely

    "Miss?"

    The voice seems to be getting closer to me, so I take off one earphone and turn my head "yes?"

    "May I use the other side of your station here?" he asks with a smile

    Oh be still my heart! "Uh sure" my tongue is frozen? Heoo no! "Go ahead" I invite him to sit at the table with me as I move my bag and papers off to my side "excuse the mess" i chuckle while trying to make room for him at the station "you good?" i ask gazing into his beautiful brown eyes that just won't stop staring at me "do i know you?" 

    "I don't think so" he answers setting down his laptop on the table and finallly sitting down "I just moved here from Sacramento"

    Nodding like I believe him, i scoot my chair a few inches away from him, then place my earphones back in. I hear…

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