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Permalink Reply by Ms.Virgo on March 21, 2011 at 8:43am

I know I am not Samoan, but I wouldn't worry about it because if he is a man who is strong, he will stick up for you and your relationship. Even though you can't make her accept you, you can show her that you are a good person. It sounds like she may have some discontent with his father because things didn't work out as she had planned. But, you have to choose the right man and not just any man because he looks good or sounds good for the time.

When she meets you, she may not like the idea of you. If she grows to accept you, it will be a good amount of time. I was in a relationship with a guy from Nicaragua for 2 years. This was in high school so that right there, can tell you that he was a miracle it lasted that long. When his mother found out about me, she was very angry. She took his phone and forbid him to see me. She is married to a white man. When she met me, she was really nice so... It came as a shock to me that all of that had happened. After about 3 months of meeting her, she started calling me her daughter in law when I would come over and she had company. I happened to have lucked out. This usually does not happen.

You have parents who are prejudice, but you also have parents who are scared. Many parents are scared of the scrutiny that their children will face as a result of being in an interracial relationship. No one with common sense wants their children to go through pain, but there is no evolution without moving forward.

I have dated mostly outside of my race with males from Europe, white- American men, Latinos, Pacific Islanders and Middle Eastern man. Those within my race have came from other countries so I have had to work with different types of ideals. Most of all... They have had to work with my ideals. I come from a culture where the man needs to be jumping over hoops for you, not the other way around. That is the way of many cultures and that is how I determine how long the man will stick around.

If he is there for you, he is willing to forsake the ideas of his friends. His mother will play a major part, but you have to consider that he needs to show himself to be worthy of you to your parents as well.

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Permalink Reply by Synergy Norton Fa'atasi on March 21, 2011 at 8:50am

don't know what type of advise I can bring to you my dear, but FOR (Gods) SAKE, I'M GONNA RAIN DOWN ON YOUR PARADE' - aiight! hehee..

many (i'a) smart women, and I'm saying that you are! they go with their instants, if your heart tells you, you love this guy, then the mother, father, brother, grand-mother, grand-father don't really matter, you know, you're the one that's gonna look after him, wipe his bum, care and cherish every moments in life and forward, you know..

I personally think, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but; - you can most certainly have it earn its keep, you know.. hehee, from what I've gathered, if he loves you, then; - his mum will love you too, hehee, hehee, that's usually the norm,.. |...

him been halfcast doesn't really mean anything in America apparently,..
It didn't mean anything back in the days, & I don't think, TIMES have really changed that much in BIGGER TREE, you know, - TRAIN em' BIG EARS.. hahaa, aui; - eh,..

brb, it's to damn early for em' to damn wannem'.. hahaa, haha..
love you butt - baby-girl, if me babies were older, hahaa, hahaa..
you could of dated` 1off em' hafakasi samoans.. hahaa, hahaa.. I'm just kidding.. *gosh*
obivously, I'm hoping you get the message, race will not matter, and pleasing his mother, most certainly will not make you and him TIGHT 4 LIFE!, loving and pleasing are two different things, yeah?>:unsure: hehee

:) Auntie Noms & The Boys..

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Permalink Reply by Ms.Virgo on March 21, 2011 at 8:56am

When you meet his mother make sure you dress appropriately. Classy, but curb worthy. Let her know that you are there for him. If she cares, she is going to ask questions. Come prepared with answers. I don't know whether or not his father will be there, but his opinion is just as important because sons love their father or what little they know of their father if they have ever had any relationship with them. His opinion may be the one to save you... lol.

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Permalink Reply by Synergy Norton Fa'atasi on March 21, 2011 at 9:13am

*Island-Time* | story time..

If it helps. haha, hahaa.
I still haven't meet my kids dad parents, and I didn't talk to em', until afew days after we found out we were expecting a baby, perhaps even a MONTH or so, after we were married. There dad decided it was time for em' to know then type of thing, but; - the situation was really stupid, cause, he was YOUNG BOY with a BIG MOUTH, that said, he could take care of me and what not..

cause in the Samoan way, the boy goes and fa'amalamalama to the girls parents, so, he did that alright - come to my parents, but; - when it came to his parents, it was my friends from work, there advise was, that it wasn't nice, his parents didn't know..

Kindoff funny, cause; - I rang him from work to state, that I was going home for a while, give him some space, and he rings me back and says, to get ready I'll be talking to his parents on the phone, aui; - the first ever thing, I ever said to em' was "What's the weather like in India".. the father felt it was funny and the mother, well; - we still don't speak, cause; - apparently, she don't know a word of english, yet she works in government buildings, LIKE SELF' over in India, makes me sad, JUST NOT LOST!!.. hehee

The ending is, we're not together any more, we're heading for my ONLY EVER divorce IN THIS LIFE, and I have no desires to meet the parents EVER!..

if anything, I'm totally looking forward to going to Samoa this year and just taking in the FRESH ISLAND BREEZY AIR.. hehee,
that's just RIGHT ON LIFE, BRING IT, BRING IT.. hehee, hehee, kaofiga style.. hahaa..

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Permalink Reply by ChocoEsBonita❤ on March 21, 2011 at 12:19pm

@OfflineTribe

Auntie I love ur stories lol..I got a little confuzzled..

So did your babies father parents not like you because ur samoan or was it somthing else??

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Permalink Reply by Synergy Norton Fa'atasi on March 21, 2011 at 12:38pm

I haven't meet em', we're beyond LOVE, apparently, I am ONE OF THE MOTHERs of their GRAND-CHILDREN.. haha, uh' I just don't talk to em'...

Before, when; - I was with the father of my kids, I would make an effort for him to ring his parents, so we could like interwine (over-time) what not, seeing, they live there in India and had no desires to live here in Australia, they just wanted to see the grand-kids, they've never meet, only heard off.. hehee..

as far as I know, they care about the boys still, it's still their grand-kids, as for me and him, apparently, it's NO1s business but our selves, and something we've gotta sort out..

it's just that, the strain of all things, what are you suppose to do with the things that are given to you, it ain't like - you can keep em' stuff, you know.. hehee. hehee.. & the pass, Oh' my gosh, the pass is something that's so hard to let go off, not sure about other girls, but; - I think it's more to do with the children, why the pass is hard to let go and why it's complicated to move on, type of thing and get besortted, or something.. lol,lol,lol... not sure'.. hehee..

hope it helps, any of em'things, hahaa, haha..
sorry' cheekiiy, didn't mean to confuse you, and just don't look at it, haha *argh* / hope you find answers for what you're seeking, CHEERS, have a good day.. :) xox`

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Permalink Reply by ChocoEsBonita❤ on March 21, 2011 at 12:17pm

@ Mrs.Virgo

Yes for sure im dressing very classy. Im very respectful also. But I dont want to act like somebody that im not. If his mother is going to get to know me then she needs to meet the real me, im going to keep it real but still trying to impress lol..

If thats makes any since :azz:

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Permalink Reply by Ms.Virgo on March 21, 2011 at 2:06pm

Definitely, you always want to be yourself. When it comes to appearance, I have been programed to be a certain way because my mom has pounded it into my head. I have met a few parents and it's always good times.

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Permalink Reply by outside looking in on March 21, 2011 at 12:53pm

dam thats a tough one i feel like that at times when i meet white girls cause they take their own culture for granted as for you, its harder as beeing decendent from slaves from africa its hard to just say you are from ghana or ivory coast or where ever from africa,as i am mixed myself (mums samoan welsh and dads tongan german its just comes down to how you carry yourself and what his parents see in you

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Permalink Reply by Sumo on March 21, 2011 at 1:07pm

just be urself. be proud of who you are and ur culture....which is all about families to as are samoans.???

if you respect yourself and others, you'll be fine.

There isnt a samoan mother on earth that will ever approve of her sons choice of g/friends so dont lose any sleep over it!!!!!!!

if its causing a rift between you and ur man, or causing dramas, then maybe stay as friends....totally up to you tho and how much u can take, having these problems.

You cant please everyone. Just be honest to yourself about who you are and the goodness inside of you.

black american, white, irish, polish...ur human as we all are

Never ever be concerned about what people think of you. Just be your Best self and there wont be a problem! :)good luck.....

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Permalink Reply by SECURITY on March 21, 2011 at 8:40pm

Choco sis don't worry about it. We have all gone through that phase where the parents will test us or try and break us and see where our loyalty lies with our significant other. If you and your man are happy with each other - then so be it. Just don't let outside influences discourage what you both have at the moment.

Sounds like you met the mother from hell hahaha just playing lol. Glad to hear you stepped out of your comfort zone and decided to try something different. There's one thing you forgot to mention. You forgot to tell your man that you have a huge Samoan family from One Samoana :thumbup:

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