That sound. So distinct.
A fast, uneven beat dancing in the vacant air. I unknowingly look down at my chest, realisation filling my senses. My own heart beating miraculously out of control. That was the distinct sound of my heart breaking into a million bits. My heart is like a puzzle with missing pieces. Pieces that will be lost forever.
‘How could he do this to me?’

I try to escape, my body stubborn like the roots of an ancient tree, stands lifeless. My vision blurred, I close my eyes, praying the darkness swallows me, tears now flowing freely from my eyes. Taking a deep desperate breath, I nervously open my eyes, the image of him with her permanently engraved into my brain.
‘How could he do this to me?’

A familiar sound rings in my ears. I stumble towards my first period class like a zombie, alive yet dead. English went by in a blur, maths was the same. A new feeling slowly and secretly sweeps over me, as I see ‘her’ fast approaching me as our paths cross in the halls. A volcano of emotions begins to boil from within. The one person I thought I could trust, my ‘safe-hold of secrets’ I once called her. I feel the burning sensation from within begin to peak as our eyes meet. I try to hold the gaze, somehow trying to send an energy of hatred and betrayal, instead a sense of heartache overcomes me, the verdict written clearly on her face. Guilty.
‘How could he do this to me?’

The journey home was peaceful but my mind was a war zone of emotions. I found it hard to accept the truth, as it sat in the back of my mind like a bomb on a timer. He loved her. Not me. Her. I search for purpose, for meaning, to my empty existence but I’m met with the image of him holding her. I never realised how much I loved him, how much my world revolved around him, because to me, he was the world. Memories came flooding in as I reminisce about what we had. A friendship that was once so strong. I told him everything, he knew me like no one else did. He knew when I was sad even when I was smiling. He was always there for me when I needed him. And now it was my turn. I forcefully tell myself to pick up my cell phone. My finger then began to move, my mind trailing my actions. Menu. Create message. “I’M HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH.” Send.

I lay in the darkness, my thoughts playing freely in my mind. Silence is the loudest sound that you can hear. I had no control over myself, tears now streaming over a slight grin. I know that this day will forever be remembered, a day that will bring both sad and triumphant memories.
‘Where to from here?’

Somehow my heart answered that question for me. ‘Don’t think about the destination, but think about the journey and the life lessons that will make you stronger.’ Then I realise that knowing that he will never love me the way I love him is reason enough to live. Then I hear it. That distinct sound whispering in my ear, tingling at my side, reassuring me that this feeling of emptiness and heartache will pass. This day will be remembered not for the sorrow and heartache I felt, but for overcoming an obstacle beyond my wildest dreams. I slowly close my eyes, the darkness now filling me, I smile to myself. I can’t believe it. I survived.