Worldwide Samoan Community Online

Character Exercise

(HGG NOTE: Just moving this exercise here before we lose it in the comments)

His weathered lips cling to the half-lit Camel, wheezing as a cloud of smoke fills the room. He forces a husky cough, spewing phlegm into an empty mayonnaise jar along with remnants of the Camel. He moves the jar aside and struggles to prop himself up, his emaciated arms shrouded with tribal blueprints of a once perilous life. He strains to pull the tattered ie lava-lava around his scrawny frame, only to have it slip through his arthritic fingers.

***Just from this short blurb, tell me what kind of man you think he was and now has become***

0 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Neta on June 27, 2010 at 12:52am

Hi Edgar. I totally didn't see your entry until I submitted my story. I purposely didn't want to read others' stories so that I wouldn't be influenced by another's creativity. We have the same concept. How cool.

Permalink Reply by Lani Wendt Young on July 15, 2011 at 8:23pm

i think this one is my favorite.

Permalink Reply by Tama Toa on June 23, 2011 at 10:51am

hes the old man that now lives alone, the years of drinking and carrying on with his friends, the domestic violence, the stubbornness of his ways, to the months spent at sea, has severed all connections he had with his family. a wife who had died years ago, children who are now grown with families of their own....and so now he sits alone at the dinner table that was built with two by fours nd a plank of wood outside by one of his friends..that shows age and stained with coffee spills, cup rings, water spots, and yet smooth to the touch. alone he sits.his children doesn't want anything to do with him. and he is shunned by his aiga...alone he sits. with out a care rather he lives or dies...alone he sits...awaiting his time...alone.... he sits

Permalink Reply by David Leo on June 23, 2011 at 11:26pm

A panoramic view of past experiences pervade his, still alert mind. His hands arduously attending to the plantation, his motivation to feed and ensure that his family's needs were met with the fruit of his labour. He was a well respected man, not with a loud or domineering manner, but a soft-spoken man with words that was laced with discerning wisdom. Amongst the chiefs in the house of decisions, they often waited for his contribution as he often did not offer his opinion until the issue was thoroughly discussed. He was fair, hard working, and a family man. His motto which he repeated to his children and to the people of the village was "O le aoga muamua, o lau aiga" (The first school is your home)

A more violent cough succeeds, and the phlegm is now mixed with a tinge of blood. He understands that his time will soon cease and thinks "To what is my life of use? What have I achieved? Have I been of any use on this earth?"
His daughter rushes to his side to rub her fathers back, in hope that it offers some kind of relief. He smiles at her. She strokes his head and turns it towards his family. He captures the view of his Sons and Daughters, and their sons and their daughters, and a euphoric wave overwhelms him. Tears stream down his face, as His eldest son approaches, reaching out his strong arms with tribal blue prints of a perilous life. He tightens his fathers's ie lava lava and whispers to him. ""O le aoga muamua, o lau aiga"

*Hamogeek girl, this caught my attention because (minus the tatts) this gave me vivid memories of my granddad on his deathbed in Vailima back in '95*

Permalink Reply by Hamo Geek Girl on June 24, 2011 at 10:01am

Wow... I LOVE the different interpretations and perspectives you all are bringing to this table.. and I'm seriously impressed by the magic in your writing..

:thumbup:

Permalink Reply by Recalcitrant on June 24, 2011 at 1:51pm

dayum, thats a descriptive piece if ever I read one...abundant with words that paint the most vivid of pictures.

For me, he used to me a man who lived his life vivaciously - he seems to have lived a life in its complete fullness! His life seemed to have been one of many trials and tribulations, this is evident through the use of the word "weathered" .... for someone to be described in this manner, shows that the person mentioned had lived a life that encountered all types of issues, scenarios, experiences - so much to the point that he has now been reduced to this. Another word that reinforces his past lifestyle is "perilous" - in this sense, it is used to describe his tattoo. In any given manner, tattoos are usually signs of rebellion, individualism - in some cases culture, but the fact it is displayed on his arms gives evidence that the man mentioned, wore his tatt more so for pride. Note that it does mention the "tribal" nature of his tattoo. So a summary of what he was - he was a free spirit who lived his life without any fears of what his future had in store for him - seems to have lived beyond his years.

To speak of what kind of man he has now become - more obvious than so, he has now become, desolate, alone, meagre, isolated, lonely - desperate. No clear signs of his former life, thats to say that he doesnt show the spark that is echoed in his "weathered" lips or his "tribal tattoo" - every line in this blurb uses words with connotations that are connected with the concept of ailment: "wheezing" "struggles "strains" "remnants" etc etc It seems that he is the complete opposite of his former life. He tends to be holding onto the remains of his life and its slowly wasting away, bit by bit - "emaciated arms" spewing phlegm into an empty..." "tattered ie lavalava around his scrawny frame" - note that both his life and his physical being is just slowly fading away, both internal and outwardly. He was burning his proverbial candle from both ends.

Loved this piece BOSS! Also loving the responses from our fellow natives, keep up the awesome work!